I didn’t grow up in a family where football was a thing. Football only existed in my family for the opportunity to see the band play. For Conner that was not the case. He lived and breathed football. He went to Georgia Tech where he worked for the football team, so as if merely attending an ACC school didn’t foster his passion enough, he also spent long days and hours helping the team get ready for each game. Football has come in the way of our relationship and I often joke that I agree with the southern phrase “We interrupt this marriage to bring you football season“.

For the love of Conner, I have grown to like football. I now enjoy tailgating, going to the games, and rooting for the home team. I mean, the Ramblin’ Reck did drive us away from our reception and all. More than just tolerate the game, I have learned a lot about marriage and relationships from the ole game of pigskin.

Celebrate little wins. Every 1st and ten gets closer to a touch down.  Every touch down gets to the end goal of winning the game. You will find people cheer at each of those little wins. Same is true for your relationship. Celebrate when your significant other hears you or helps you take care of things around the house. Or celebrate that you had one date night this month rather than beating yourself up for not having them every week. Celebrate a little win today!

Be on the same team. You must communicate the game plan and know that in the end you are on the same team. Communication is always key, but sometimes can be hard to verbalize exactly what your needs are. I find it hard to ask for help sometimes, but it saves my sanity when I can just relinquish control. Instead of getting mad that he may be sitting on the couch watching TV I have to remind myself to ask for help and say “Conner, please unload the dishwasher” while I am busy putting away the groceries. This saves me from harboring anger, and Conner from having to guess my needs. We are on the same team and he just needs to be coached a little to know what his team mate needs.

Practice makes you good. It takes practice to get good at the game. Your not going to step out on day one and be a superstar. Read books that challenge you to be a better spouse. Listen to a podcast that gives you ideas for how to tell your spouse you love them. Never stop learning.

Who’s on your team? It takes a lot of people to create a winning team. Personal trainers, coaches, team mates, and equipment managers. Surround yourself with a team that will encourage you, be a sounding board, give you a pep talk, and help you work through difficult decisions when you need an outside perspective from someone who has already won the battle you may be facing.