Right now I am being challenged with thoughts and feelings on fear. The fear of not being good enough, not having the right words to say all the time, the fear of not doing enough, the fear of not being transparent and the outside world looking in with the only view being perfection. The fear of even typing these words and pressing publish on these thoughts for all the world to see. I am far from perfect and want to be transparent. “To name your fears is to destroy them” so here goes.
(Image via Making Things Happen Tumblr)
We feel God calling us in a specific direction right now. It is a scary direction but has us clinging on tight to God knowing that when it does happen, it is only from him. His plans are bigger than anything we could dream up for ourselves. The direction we are moving right now is not a direction I would have planned for myself or for our marriage. Nothing bad, just a bigger plan, a more public display of our lives than I would have planned on my own. But that is the beauty of it. It is scary to step outside of our comfort zone and completely trust the ultimate planner. My quiet time has been filled with studying the people who clearly put their fear out there. Moses, Jonah, Elijah. These well-known people in the bible who accomplished great things all had a period of self-doubt and fear. They all wanted to quit. They all were scared to keep moving. They cried out and faced a specific set of challenges, but ultimately God was with them the whole time and constantly provided provision. That is my prayer right now. For provision. The big scary things we are called to do right now require a lot of faith, pushing aside fear and doubt, and provision for the right person to come along to partner with the plan. Today I find comfort in “My heart will not fear, I will be confident”- Psalms 27:3. What great hope that is found in that verse! Note to self- be confident, embrace the scary direction and cling to God because that IS what matters most. Taking this weekend to feel the fear and do it anyways.